Life's lessons

Long post of my thoughts: Reader Be Warned
All my life I looked forward to the day I would be a stay at home mom. To play with my kids all day, clean the house and have dinner on the table when the husband got home from work is still a goal of mine. It has just been postponed. And I am catching a glimpse at the other side of being a mom, a full time career mom. And I am impressed and I salute you who do this, love this and have it as a goal. Way to go!As many of you know I am a Hall advisor at BYU. This means I have 3 buildings of residents (usually freshmen) which equal 180 18-19 years olds and then I have 3 resident assistants who I supervise and help them mentor their own building throughout the year. I have always loved my job, especially in the Fall when all the new freshmen come pouring onto campus with new school supplies, home decor from target and nervous parents with lots of questions. I love being the person the parents turn to and then the reason they look less worried about having their "first one go off to college" or their "baby leaving home."

This job does NOT change and is not different with kids. It is the same job, you just have to adjust your schedule and work late at night after the baby is sleeping or early in the morning before they wake up. For most weeks I am only out of the house at meetings or something 8-10 hours. The rest of the time I am at my desk in my apartment working or in one of my residents' apartments. And even those 8-10 hours are in the building that is a minute walk from my apartment. But RA training week is a whole other story. It is the week before check ins when we train our RAs and basically give them a drink from a fire hose. We are gone all day every day for a week and it is an intense week, no matter how long you have been here. Wonderful? Yes. Draining? Oh yeah!
Each morning I would wake Shortstop up, feed him and try to snuggle him as long as possible before kissing him goodbye, laying him back down and walking out the front door. Mark was wonderful and changed his schedule to stay home with him every day but one and even then my amazing sister Melanie offered to take him all day. On the way to meet the RAs each morning before we headed to Salt Lake, Spring Haven or Camp Williams, I would steel my heart, try not to cry and pump myself up to be excited for the days' adventures as I shut the door behind me on the sweet sounds of sleeping Shortstop. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my RAs, but they would not be offended to hear I would have rather held my little boy all day versus doing military bay exercises to promote team unity.

The best though was coming home to hear Mark say "Guess who's home? Mom's here!" And then to look at my son, (who seemed to grow each day) and get a smile out of him and even a giggle. Even if some days all I got to do was bathe him, feed him and kiss him goodnight, I'll take it!

Things I was grateful for last week seemed hard to come by. It was interesting...I have done Fall RA training for years and never have I had a week with so many OTHER frustrations and hard days. I know my feelings were a little closer to the surface leaving Shortstop for so long but it seemed every which way I turned there was something else I was dealing with or working through. Sometimes it was work, sometimes hurt feelings, sometimes hurting for a friend and sometimes just life. One of these days our car broke down with Mark and Shortstop on the way home from Melanie's.

Amazingly I was only 5 minutes behind with a van full of RAs and my associate Hall advisor. Another blessing was my associate is van certified so I pulled over in Draper where Mark was, had her drive the RAs home since that was legal and thought "If we are stranded, we'll be stranded as a family." We found a Wendy's, got the car there and sat talking over fries and a frosty as I held Shortstop for the first time that day, deciding what to do.
Some kind strangers overheard our plight and informed us their "car guy" was right next door and did they want us to go and get him before he closed shop? YES! They did and the guy took the car in promising it would be fixed the next day. Our cousin had said he could take us back to Draper Thursday to pick it up. So the car and how to get it back were checked off the list. Now to get home. If it had been Mark and I, no big deal. But having a 3 month old and pulling up behind our broken down car in the RA van seeing my son in the back in 100 degree weather, grateful Mark was able to pull over in the shade, was hard to swallow. It is scary to be stranded with a baby and not know what the next step is going to be. After a few calls to people who were unable to assist, again my sister Melanie came to the rescue! Her husband was in Salt Lake and would be happy to drive down, pick us up and take us all the way to Provo. Wow! And the whole time Shortstop just sat in my arms smiling holding my finger as we waited and worked things out. What a good boy! So yes, we got home safe and sound and we even have our car back.
The rest of the week went a bit like that. Crisis. Plan A falls through. Plan B works. Blessings and miracles. Then off to bed to start again the next day. But each problem brought blessings and lessons learned.
Yesterday was supposed to be my day off. But when you are training a new Hall advisor on top of your RAs and hers, and setting up for check ins, not so much a day off. But again, that is ok. I had not planned on working so I did not have Mark stay home. Twice I got calls for people to check in early. Check ins are only in my lobby three feet from my front door where I can still see him but others can't unless they look so I put Shortstop in his papisan, left the front door open and went out to work. Twice he cried out and I was stuck. "Do I be unprofessional and leave and get my son or do I let him fuss knowing he is not hurt but just lonely and finish the check in?" Twice the parents of my new residents said "Is that your baby? Can I hold him?" And this was not a question from annoyance or a guilt trip for me because I was letting him fuss, this was pure "A baby?! I love babies! My baby is checking into his college dorm room...can I get my baby fix by holding yours?" It was so touching to watch these parents walk in my front door, pick up my boy and walk out hugging him and loving him while I lovingly helped their boy or girl learn the ways of living on campus. We worked toagether as parents in very different stages of life. I eased their fears of leaving their child and they calmed my nerves as they rocked my baby.
So, to sum up, there are so many wonderful people who are willing to lend a helping hand. Each of us has those opportunities every day to be just that. No matter where we are in life or what problems we face, I hope we can be there for others. It may mean a lot to a working mom, who is new at the mom thing, if you just offer a kind word or a friendly helping hand.
And now the day I love the most in this job is coming. On Wednesday official contracts start for on campus housing. My parking lot will be full, my lobby over packed and my kind words plentiful for those anxious parents and new freshmen. I love meeting my new residents!

Friends

I know I said it would be a while before I post but I could not hold back my gratitude today. I have an amazing family and anyone who knows me knows they are such a big part of my life and who I am. But as we all get older, more and more I am realizing I may not get to live in the same town as any of my siblings, which is hard for me to accept. I have a brother still in town with his wife, thankfully, but all my sisters are elsewhere. Yes, the majority are less than half a day's drive away, but sometimes, you need to hang out with a sister at the drop of a hat.

So that takes my thoughts to the need for friends. Really good friends who have your back and you get to see throughout the week. With the job I have, my co-workers are so much more than that. They truly are good friends. And this week has been a testament of how blessed I am. I have had one friend that texted me just to say hi and see how I was doing, another friend who even though it was to say goodbye she came over to visit after packing up to move, another who let me cry on her doorstep, which I don't like to do because it shows emotion, but she is that easy to talk to I was able to spill my guts, and another friend who brought me a gift because she knows how hard it will be this week leaving Shortstop so much for RA training and she wanted to let me know she was thinking about me. Wow! I try so hard to be a good friend but I find myself lacking and learning so much from the people around me on what it means to serve and love. But rather than get down on my shortcomings I am just going to say thank you. Thank you to friends close by and friends far away (including sisters)...you rock! And I am lucky to call you "friends".

I love this picture. With so many friendships staying alive through facebook I thought this was pretty clever.

Forgiveness

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about forgiveness and choosing to be happy in the midst of trials. I think about my Shortstop and how no matter what he does, no matter what bodily fluids leave his body and land on me or in my eye, I don't get upset but just move on. There is no thought or struggle of needing to forgive because it is not even an issue. How can it be? He is so sweet and I love him so much. He can yell at me (in his cries), wake me up in the middle of the night over and over (which thankfully he does not do) or interrupt anything I am doing and I am never mad. And it got me thinking, wouldn't life be easier and happier if we had that type of unconditional love for everyone?

We have all been offended by a co-worker, hurt by someone's words or actions way back in high school or just had a bad day because of a neighbor's insensitivity but if we were able to move on and forgive, wow. Life would be what it should be...wonderful each day. There are so many things to celebrate, so many reasons to smile. My goal is to focus on those. I will not be perfect at them but I am going to try. I am still going to allow myself to be sad and live my emotions but they will not control me. Life can be too hard and the world too scary to ignore the countless good things surrounding us.

This video really touched my heart. I hope you enjoy.

Happy 3 months little Shortstop

Wow...where did the last three months go!? Shortstop has grown so much and his cute little personality is sure coming out more and more each day. He coos and smiles almost non stop but mostly when you are paying attention to him, he hates when people leave the room, I think he is becoming a mama's boy (which I love), he still sleeps through the night, his giggle is the most contagious thing ever, he is a cuddle buddy, he loves routines and consistency (especially with bedtime) and...he has become a thumb sucker. Ah! He won't take a pacifier but sure loves his fist, thumb, fingers, you name it. I still think it is cute, but I know I need to break him if that habit. Mark and I gently pull his fist out of his mouth each time he puts it in. He then will look at us, smirk and slowly bring it back up but not quite put it back in his mouth and then he laughs. I guess it is a pretty fun game to him. Man I love my little family so much! Mark is so wonderful with him and constantly tells him what a good boy he is and how much we love him. He is so positive and supportive, even of a 3 month old. Shortstop can do no wrong in Mark's eyes and whether it is a big spit up, a burp, a laugh or a good cry, Mark is proud of his boy and lets him know. It is a great quality to have, being that positive, and I learn more and more from Mark each day.

The next few weeks are pretty crazy for me. I have RA training next week all day every day, student check ins the next week and then school starts and my buildings are full of new freshmen for me to meet. I hope I don't neglect my blog too much but please forgive me if I do!

My new quilt

I love my parents, I always have and always will. There are so many countless reasons why. My dad has always made me laugh and can teach a lesson or give life changing counsel at the drop of a hat. I hope to be at least half the mom my mother is. She is truly an inspiration of love and service. This evening I got to spend some time with them at my uncle's home. My dad's hugs are the best ever and my mom's laugh rocks! Seeing them makes my day. And tonight, my mom brought me a gift. She has made a quilt for each of her kids when they get married. Sometimes it comes a few years after the wedding but with 18 grandkids, 7 kids, a full time job and vacations to visit all those people, I am amazed at how much she gets done. I am the 6th child and have been so excited for my quilt. And tonight, she brought me the finished product. It is stunning!! I cannot believe how much time and effort she puts into these quilts. Cutting the squares, piecing them together in the right design, sewing them, and then hand stitching the hem...makes me tired even typing it. But I am grateful to reap the benefits of her love. The pictures do not do it justice. My apartment is very small (understatement of the year), as many of you who have visited can attest, so I had to take this out to the lobby of my building just to take a picture of it all laid out. It is huge! Isn't is gorgeous! Ah! I am so excited to have it. Thank you mom for this gorgeous gift. And thank you dad for giving up time with mom while she worked on it. :)

More cuteness

At night when I am making dinner I like to put Shortstop in his papisan and sit him near me while I cook. I talk to him and try to keep him happy while I can't hold him. So this is what I get to look at as I cook.

But then Mark comes home and sometimes he needs to do some work on the computer. While he does that he talks to me about his day and Shortstop no longer wants to look at me. And this is my view.

I love it. He LOVES his dad's voice and no matter what is going on, when Mark talks, that is where his attention goes. He has picked a good man to look up to.

This picture just shows how much trouble I am in...look at that pouty face. I don't think I will ever be able to say no to him or get mad at him. I am sure that will change when he has poured flour all over the kitchen or has posted his latest drawing in marker on my walls but for now...he is a perfect angel.

And last, his eyelashes. This picture does not do them justice but they are gorgeous and so long! I love looking at them as he sleeps or eats. Love this boy of mine!