And it got me thinking...how often do we young moms hear "Enjoy this time...it goes too fast." But do I have to enjoy finding someone's snot on my jeans and praying it is the baby's cause that is less gross than the 3 year old or 5 year old's? Or cherish the phrase yelled to me from upstairs "Mom! Come wipe me!" Or relish the difficulty of balancing laughter and jokes at the dinner table with teaching manners and respect? Do I love being a stay at home mom? A million times yes! I would not trade it for anything in the world. But it can be hard to know that your title is "mom" only and the only interaction you might have with an adult in the week is the clerk at the grocery store or on the phone scheduling a doctor's appointment for your child.
So while still thinking about this, I was
And social media does not always help. I am guilty of this...we post our best self. And I don't necessarily disagree with it. I want to remember the times I rocked at Star Wars pancakes and the times I felt beautiful enough to take a selfie. I am uplifted by others posting their healthy meals and their workout ideas and their beautifully decorated homes. But I have to remember that there is usually a story there and that moment posted, while perfect, was maybe just a moment. Like the adorable Easter picture on Instagram of three happy matching children followed by tears from the post baby body mom who couldn't find anything to wear to church and the husband who didn't know what to say or do to help. (Yep...that happened.) Or the awesome stay in date night planned by the husband that looks wonderful, which it was, but there were only 20 minutes of real date time because the baby needing taking care of and let's be honest...I was still in my sweats so was I being real? To both of those...yes. My kids looked incredible and were happy on Easter. My husband did plan an at home date picnic with sushi which was delicious and the game was fun but there were obviously less than perfect stories there.
I want to do it all. I do. I enjoy holidays and going all out...that is not a stress for me but it is one more thing to do. I want to do crafts with my kids that include learning a new letter each week complete with a field trip but if I sing my kids the ABC song at night I count that a win. I want to make meals complete with all the colors of the rainbow and leafy veggies with lean protein but sometimes the colors are colored goldfish next to mac and cheese and chocolate milk cause I don't want to fight my kids that night about eating their dinner. And I want to pamper my husband with pipe and slippers and sports section ready for him when he comes home from work while I look like I stepped out of a 50's fashion magazine in pearls and heels and a dress and apron...but HA! I can't even seriously address that one. Bwahahaha!
I guess what I am saying is I know I am not alone in this. I know there are moms who sit at home feeling lonely thinking no one else is lonely and their next door neighbor is doing the same. I know there are moms who have Cafe Rio picked up by their husbands for dinner because the cleaning took too long even though it doesn't look like it cause the kids are up from naps and the toys are out again. I do have plenty of moments when I sit back and think "My life rocks. My kids are awesome. This is what I want." But like how your mom didn't mention when your room was clean all the time but notices very much when it is dirty...you don't notice the good times as much cause the hard times are much more taxing. And I am super lucky because my husband has a flexible schedule and is home a lot earlier than most plus he loves his kids and takes them on outings often and plays with them every night. And I recognize these blessings. I really do.
So yeah...take a moment to sit and acknowledge that you love your life but that you are tired. It doesn't make you ungrateful or evil. It makes you human. Which means you are still learning and growing and becoming your good or better or best self. And moving forward, even if that means not giving up that day, is still moving forward.
