Lessons Learned

So it has been a few weeks in my new life as a stay at home mom and I have learned a lot. Really, I have. To be brutally honest, I struggled quite a bit the first week. I kind of felt sorry for myself that all my friends were busy working and all the fun freshmen were moving in and the RAs were bonding and learning their jobs and blah blah blah. I somehow forgot the sleepless nights of preparing for training, the pranks pulled that first week, the craziness of move in day and stressed out parents, training RAs who liked to push back no matter what. But I cried a lot and then I realized most of my fears and struggles were because I wondered if I was going to be the super mom I always thought I wanted to be and should be.

• Lesson one: Projecting sadness and fears and glorifying a past way of life is not always healthy.

So that first week, I will admit, I lived in my sweats. I had my hair up and really hoped no one would knock on the door. I will call this my honeymoon phase of enjoying not having to get ready for meetings. But by the next week I realized how much better I felt when I got ready, did my make up and even if my hair was still up, at least it was clean and I wasn't using baby powder to hide the grease from Mark. (I only did this once when I forgot to shower two days in a row and was totally embarrassed at what I had become. I mean how do you forget to shower?)

• Lesson two: Looking your best can help you feel your best. Getting ready for the day is healthy even if the only errand you are running is going out to get the mail.

In the mornings I would wake up, look at Shortstop during breakfast and think "Well, what now?" We would play or rest or read and I would think "Should I be teaching him long division or quantum physics? Should he have his alphabet learned in three languages yet?" (I hope readers can hear the thick sarcasm). But I wondered what to do each day to keep us both sane. I mentioned earlier how I had bought a basket of dollar store stuff for Shortstop and I to do each day, you know, to stimulate our minds. I was so ambitious and excited. The first day I got out the coloring book and new crayons. We sat on the floor, I showed him what to do and he looked at me, tasted the purple crayon, tossed it aside and crawled over to sit by his books. Ok, new activity. Let's read together. When I crawled over to join him and picked one up to read to him, he looked at me, took it from me and turned his back to me and read by himself. I wanted to laugh but instead I cried. Wait a minute child! I quit my job for you and now you won't play with me? I don't think so!! But he won and he wanted his alone time. I called my mom in tears and she kindly said, "Sometimes you kids did what I wanted and most times you did what you wanted."

• Lesson three/ four: The toddler knows what the toddler wants. Mom knows best.

After a week of this pathetic attempt to do everything right and yet do nothing at all I had a long talk with Mark and he gave me a blessing. I realized that being a stay at home mom would be tough, like I knew it would, but the reasons it had been tough thus far was because I was trying to live up to some expectation set for me by who knows who. Shortstop is not a difficult child, in fact, he is a lot of fun. So why was this hard? Because I did not know who I wanted to be. What I wanted to be. So after praying and talking to Mark I realized that I needed to relax and take it one day at a time. Learn the best way to be happy, keep the boy happy and that would be enough. That my best was actually good enough and how I lived my days and raised my family were up to me, Mark and the Lord.

• Lesson five: I am my biggest road block. I need to get off my own back.

Life is great. It really is. Shortstop and I work and play well together, we have fun and life is more relaxing once I threw out the "Perfect Mom Rule Book." Did you know there was one? There is. It is in the head of every mother comparing herself to every one around her, not realizing she is her own version of wonderful. I count my blessings each day that I have this opportunity to be home. And today, I do not miss being a Hall Advisor. Not even a little bit. :) With my free time I have even been able to put together my two week menu and went shopping for all the stuff.

• Lesson Six: I like to cook. I really do and I think I am pretty good at it. :)

So there you have it. Today I am at peace, I am happy and I am grateful for my mom, sisters and husband who let me talk, cry, ask, drill, survey every mom topic out there. I love my little Shortstop. He is so smart and fun and happy. He is learning so much each day and I love being a part of it all. My mind is much more open and not always thinking about other stuff so that I can soak him all in. I look forward to many more days of activities and fun, trials and life lessons. (I just wish he would nap right now...that's right son...I can hear you...now go to sleep!)

Come back in a day or two when I am doing another giveaway. Wahoo for free stuff!!